An Open Letter to the Woman who Filmed her Abortion on Youtube

Dear Emily,

You don't know me, but after your story popped up several times in my largely-Conservative-Christian Facebook feed, I feel compelled to add another voice of dissension to the mounting outcry.

I am sickened and saddened by what you have done. I grieve not only for your sweet baby, but for the myriad of babies who will die because you posted this on Youtube. You've created an avenue for scared young women to google the abortion procedure, see that you've made it look less painful than a dentist appointment, and choose death for their child instead of considering the other options. I'm glad it wasn't painful for you, Emily. But the same cannot be said for the average 16 week old baby, for whom it has been documented that the vaccuums and curettes and forceps ARE painful, and a much bigger deal than the root canal or mole removal that you make this out to be. You have said that this is a "positive" abortion story, that you feel super great about it. Awesome. But you're only half of the equation, Emily. You're not the only one who matters, you just happen to be the only one who has a voice. You also don't have the benefit of retrospect. You have not had to walk through the consequences of your decision long term; it's unfair and prejudicial for you to say that your abortion was a positive experience, when you don't know how you will feel about it in five years, or ten years, or when you're 90.

But here's the thing, Emily. You and me, we are cut of the same cloth. You see, I murdered my children this morning. All three of them, with little thought of consequence. They were irritating me and disobeying me and crippling me with all their needs and whimpers and stories and "watch me, Mommy!"'s. And just like your abortion doctor wielded his curette, I blindly slashed at my children with the sharpened sword of my words. And I mercilessly slaughtered them all.

"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgement.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgement." (Matthew 5:21-22)

Here's the thing, Emily. I can accuse you of murder, and be right. But you can also accuse me of murder, and you would also be right. Anger, murder-- to-may-to, to-mah-to, according to Jesus. We Christians are supremely good at compartmentalizing sin. But the truth is, we are all on level playing ground. We ALL have sinned, we ALL have fallen short of the glory of God. None of us is good. NOT EVEN ONE.

But that's not what we would have you believe, as we flood your inbox with hate mail and calls for repentance. We will call you a "slutty cunt", as you described in a recent interview. Because oh my word, Emily, if there's something that we Christians are good at, it is boycotts and judgements and throwing rocks. We will get on facebook and link to articles of "filthy baby-killers" like you, but we won't volunteer at the local teen pregnancy shelter. We will express how heartbroken we are about children stolen in Nigeria, but our heartbreak doesn't extend to any concrete actions to prevent future social injustices. We will copy and paste "if you're not ashamed of Jesus, repost!" status updates, but we are too ashamed to evangelize our neighbors. We see the hungry and homeless, and we slam the door in their faces, while smiling and encouraging them to keep warm and well-fed. With great humility, I soberly and whole-heartedly include myself in this group of well-intentioned Pharisees. Heck, I could be their leader.

You murdered your baby, Emily. And now we will turn around and murder you, all in the name of Jesus.

We have missed it.

It sounds almost too glib to post... but Jesus loves you, Emily. He really, desperately loves you. You could have ten more abortions, and Jesus would love you still. There is nothing that you can do that would make Him love you less. He is your creator, and He chose to give you life, in all your frailty and humanity. I am heartbroken by the followers of Christ that would have you believe anything less.

We have different view points on this. But I want you to know that your baby has worth. And Emily, you have worth. You are not defined by the worst of your actions. (This is a huge relief to me; if I was defined by the worst of my actions, I would have been burning in hell long ago.) I fervently hope that you come to realize the sanctity of life, that you come to realize how precious these little ones are to Jesus. He loves your baby, Emily. And though you only saw the "potential for life", I am confident that your baby IS alive, and is being held in the arms of Jesus.

Love,
Melody