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Monday, May 18, 2009

Ode to my Maternity Gauchos and other thoughts...

Chris recently gave me (at my request :) a gift card to Motherhood Maternity and an Evie-free evening in which to use it. Even though I asked him for it, I'm pretty sure I was doing him a favor. How could he not be tired of seeing me in the same ill-fitting black tee-shirt and secret-panel Mom maternity jeans day after day after blessed day?! I was sick of seeing me in this ensemble, and I don't even have to look at myself all that often (believe me, when you're 7 months pregnant and haven't had a haircut in 6 months, you try not to).

I digress... while out on my excursion, I stumbled upon a pair of black maternity gaucho pants. Maybe not the most flattering thing for a girl of my girth to be wearing, you may be thinking. And that would be an accurate assessment. But merciful host of heaven! these things are a dream come true. As my wizened old father would say, it is like an veritable angel dancing on my tongue hips. If it weren't for the logistical considerations that would complicate such an ensemble, I would seriously consider wearing these gauchos while giving birth, in lieu of an epidural. They will, at very least, be my postpartum pants of choice. (So now Chris can look forward to the next 2.5+ months of seeing me in gauchos and aforementioned ill-fitting tee-shirt day after day after blessed day.)

I love Lancaster County. I love hearing the horse and buggies go by at night, and picking up Amish-made whoopie pies at the local farmer's market. So imagine how I rejoiced at the simple pastoral scene I observed on a farm near our house the other day: teenaged boy, bedecked in straw hat and black overalls, sitting on his plow in a field taking a well-deserved break, among his yoke of oxen... texting on his cell phone. What's next? Police breaking up Amish hymn-sing-a-longs because of illegal drugs being distributed?! Oh, wait...

In chicken-related news, Bustard, Henrietta, and Ruby el Segun are an accomplished egg-making trio; Evie and I have quite the adventures going out (several times a day) to check on the "ladies" (Ev's words, not mine). Here's the problem: I seem to have an aversion to eating said eggs. I'm not sure-- observing un-hygenic chickenly habits and scraping poop off of their eggs seems just a bit too close to nature for me. Yet another reason why I'm not crunchy.

5 comments:

MrsKennyD said...

This was a Top 5 entry! I loved every word! Especially the parts about wearing the gaucho pants during birth in lieu of an epidural and having to scrape chicken poop off of the "ladies'" eggs! You're an excellent writer!

MrsKennyD said...

By the way, this is Brittney.

Connie said...

You are too funny.

nanajobx said...

day after day after day i check back hoping one of my daughters or prehaps any other blog i follow will indeed post a new blog...and finally melodia does not disappoint me! i can go back to my day with a sense of satisfaction.
by the way i bought you a cute m-shirt at hot line. not cute like "baby on board" but cute in the cotton -hippie kind of cute. can you wait til creation??
i love it that evie calls the chicks the ladies. espically since some people call ladies chicks.

ctf said...

I would like to chime in that I love that the chickens are now the ladies. Can't wait to check out the goucho's (did that sound lesbian... wasn't going for that). You are my hero Soggy Mama.